my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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