Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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