I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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