Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
