I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
