..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
