I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
