I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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