Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
