her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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