I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
