were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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