And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
