O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
