with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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