You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
