Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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