you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
