am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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