i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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