I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
