I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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