sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize