I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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