did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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