FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
