Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
