last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
