Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
