P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
