He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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