my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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