I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
