I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
