please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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