In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
