Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
