She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
