I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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