we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize