Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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