he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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