yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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