real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize