There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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