pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
