She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
