No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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