i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize