I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
