yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
