My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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