I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
