Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize