those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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