Got a toothbrush?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize