How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
