So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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