you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we made out on top of his cat.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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