i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
