apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
