Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
