i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
