was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
