I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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