Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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