just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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