She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
