who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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