East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
