i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
