she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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