Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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