I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
