As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
