Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
