I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
